i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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