Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
