I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You ruined the universe
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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