Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
