shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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