super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
