did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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