did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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