We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
