her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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