She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
