The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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