That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
