I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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