lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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