Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
