Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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