Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she smelled like a LAN party
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
