It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
