I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize