So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
