her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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