Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
