never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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