I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
