Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
