I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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