Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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