I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
