Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
