Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
