If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She announced her abortion via fbk
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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