We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
