garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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