i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
