your thong is hanging out like whoa
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
