Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
