I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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