I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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