Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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