My nipple is on Facebook.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize