haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
