The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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