You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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