Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
