can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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