Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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