I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
