You work out of a Hotel?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
