Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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