just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
