When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
soo... how was my night?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
