He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
please don't ironically join a cult
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