i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
