Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize