She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
