I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
