I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Panties = found
Randomize
