i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
