i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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