So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
