The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
