goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
