I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
