she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
