I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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