we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize