So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
